Today, 14th February 2009.
Valentine's Day.
As I'm writing this blog post, I'm now sitting alone in a hotel room at Ipoh. Yes, you didn't read anything wrongly, your eyes are not playing games with you, and that is definitely NOT a typo. To my regular blog readers who knew my story all along, you will definitely ask "Where is your girlfriend, L?"
Oh yes, L. My lovely girlfriend. The one & only person, & purpose, that provides me with the inspiration & determination to come to Ipoh every fortnightly (sometimes even weekly, depending on condition). On ordinary basis, it's usually a one-day-trip from KL to Ipoh, leaving early in the morning and returning by evening. But on special occassions like this (it's Valentines') or maybe I'm just too tired on that particular day, I usually won't over-stress myself and I will opt to stay overnight at a hotel. Cheap one, that is, but it's decent enough to last me a night with air-con & water heater.
Back to the topic.
"Where is L?"
She's now sitting at home. In case you're wondering, yes, me & L are still on, we're still a happy couple, and there's no issues (so far) between both of us. It's just...just that she can't come out at night. Still remember that this relationship is hidden from the view of her strict parents, especially her mum, Mrs C ? Ohh yes. Which kind of explains why am I left alone here in Ipoh without my girlfriend on Valentines'.
For myself, in terms of relationship, I'm someone who can easily get contented. Yes, today's Valentine's Day, L DID came out for a date with me, we went for Valentines' lunch, I gave her some gifts, we took a short stroll along Ipoh Parade, she sends me back to the hotel, she quickly rushes back home to avoid further questioning & "blasting" from Your Honor. Yes, it's as short as this sentence, yet I'm already contented. Why?
Because...
Thinking from her perspective, it's not easy to hide such a huge secret from your parents, what's more, she's your mum who raised you up, Josh Groban style, and now she forbids you from having a relationship with EVERYBODY, unless you're a neighbour who stays nearby, owns a Mercedes Benz & a double-storey terrace house, looks like Brad Pitt & have an extremely stable job, so stable that if ever one day the WHOLE WORLD goes on recession, you're still working fine. Ok, I'm exaggerating on the last part, but a fact is fact. I'm not talking bad bout her mum behind her back now, it's just...
I feel sad and heart broken for L.
If you would ask me, "Do you love her?", I will definitely answer a "YES!", no doubt. Which is why I feel sad for her. It's not her choice to have a mum like this, and I do know that she loves me as much as I do. It's just this, this "obstacle" which is blocking our path to free relationship & happy endings. Wait, let me rephrase that. It's the "CHALLENGE" which is blocking our path now. Since the day both of us left Terengganu to return to our respective home, I'm trying to be positive and I kept telling myself, "We will make it though this".
But now...
Today L suddenly reminded me out of the blue that we've been together for almost 3 years already, exactly 3 years when it hits 13th April this year which happens to be our dating anniversary. No specific reasons behind L doing that, but for me, I feel that after 2 years of graduation, I didn't do much to achieve the target to overcome the "CHALLENGE". Not to say I didn't put any effort on it, I tried visiting her mum several times to talk my way through but I failed, I tried to stick hard to my jobs in order to raise funds but I tend to get sucky & lousy jobs which forces me to quit & look for another one, I tried moving on my career at Ipoh but I failed, and basically now I'm back to square one with a whole bunch of failures' behind my back.
What have I done?
People say Valentine's Day is the day to share the love, I say Valentine's Day is the day for me to count out my failures' and throw myself deep into HELL.
Enough of this. Already 8.12pm, going out for dinner alone now.
Such a miserable dilemma.
Valentine's Day.
As I'm writing this blog post, I'm now sitting alone in a hotel room at Ipoh. Yes, you didn't read anything wrongly, your eyes are not playing games with you, and that is definitely NOT a typo. To my regular blog readers who knew my story all along, you will definitely ask "Where is your girlfriend, L?"
Oh yes, L. My lovely girlfriend. The one & only person, & purpose, that provides me with the inspiration & determination to come to Ipoh every fortnightly (sometimes even weekly, depending on condition). On ordinary basis, it's usually a one-day-trip from KL to Ipoh, leaving early in the morning and returning by evening. But on special occassions like this (it's Valentines') or maybe I'm just too tired on that particular day, I usually won't over-stress myself and I will opt to stay overnight at a hotel. Cheap one, that is, but it's decent enough to last me a night with air-con & water heater.
Back to the topic.
"Where is L?"
She's now sitting at home. In case you're wondering, yes, me & L are still on, we're still a happy couple, and there's no issues (so far) between both of us. It's just...just that she can't come out at night. Still remember that this relationship is hidden from the view of her strict parents, especially her mum, Mrs C ? Ohh yes. Which kind of explains why am I left alone here in Ipoh without my girlfriend on Valentines'.
For myself, in terms of relationship, I'm someone who can easily get contented. Yes, today's Valentine's Day, L DID came out for a date with me, we went for Valentines' lunch, I gave her some gifts, we took a short stroll along Ipoh Parade, she sends me back to the hotel, she quickly rushes back home to avoid further questioning & "blasting" from Your Honor. Yes, it's as short as this sentence, yet I'm already contented. Why?
Because...
Thinking from her perspective, it's not easy to hide such a huge secret from your parents, what's more, she's your mum who raised you up, Josh Groban style, and now she forbids you from having a relationship with EVERYBODY, unless you're a neighbour who stays nearby, owns a Mercedes Benz & a double-storey terrace house, looks like Brad Pitt & have an extremely stable job, so stable that if ever one day the WHOLE WORLD goes on recession, you're still working fine. Ok, I'm exaggerating on the last part, but a fact is fact. I'm not talking bad bout her mum behind her back now, it's just...
I feel sad and heart broken for L.
If you would ask me, "Do you love her?", I will definitely answer a "YES!", no doubt. Which is why I feel sad for her. It's not her choice to have a mum like this, and I do know that she loves me as much as I do. It's just this, this "obstacle" which is blocking our path to free relationship & happy endings. Wait, let me rephrase that. It's the "CHALLENGE" which is blocking our path now. Since the day both of us left Terengganu to return to our respective home, I'm trying to be positive and I kept telling myself, "We will make it though this".
But now...
Today L suddenly reminded me out of the blue that we've been together for almost 3 years already, exactly 3 years when it hits 13th April this year which happens to be our dating anniversary. No specific reasons behind L doing that, but for me, I feel that after 2 years of graduation, I didn't do much to achieve the target to overcome the "CHALLENGE". Not to say I didn't put any effort on it, I tried visiting her mum several times to talk my way through but I failed, I tried to stick hard to my jobs in order to raise funds but I tend to get sucky & lousy jobs which forces me to quit & look for another one, I tried moving on my career at Ipoh but I failed, and basically now I'm back to square one with a whole bunch of failures' behind my back.
What have I done?
People say Valentine's Day is the day to share the love, I say Valentine's Day is the day for me to count out my failures' and throw myself deep into HELL.
Enough of this. Already 8.12pm, going out for dinner alone now.
Happy Valentine's Day everyone.
Such a miserable dilemma.
2 comments:
You are still young and knowing that you are working towards overcoming the "challenge" and still keeping the relationship going is already very good you know?
I almost asked why you needed to stay in a hotel and not L's place since she's your gf. I am sad that Her Majesty is giving both of you the hardship, and I pray that you will overcome all odds one day.
Be strong. Love is a bed of roses (don't forget the thorns).
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