Last day of work : Over.
Finally...
.
..
...
I'm free!
The short-lived joy after a year of suffering and dissatisfaction.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
1 0 6
106 degrees Fahrenheit fever.
Blocked nose.
Sore throat.
Headache.
Stomach upset.
Diarrhoea.
Urge to vomit.
Yet, I'm still in the office now, as I do not want to take MC on my last week of working for this company.
Tell me,am I a responsible staff or I'm just stupid?
Another 3 days to go...
Blocked nose.
Sore throat.
Headache.
Stomach upset.
Diarrhoea.
Urge to vomit.
Yet, I'm still in the office now, as I do not want to take MC on my last week of working for this company.
Tell me,am I a responsible staff or I'm just stupid?
Another 3 days to go...
Thursday, May 22, 2008
c r a w l
10 days.
Officially 10 days to reach 31st May 2008, or also known as the end of Torture Month.
But, I'm curious on why does time starts to crawl...out of a sudden. No joke intended, but yes, I feel that time is really crawling and passing me by more slower than usual. Maybe...that's what I have in mind almost all of my life.
Joy are short-lived, they come & go without you noticing.
Sorrow are eternal, they come & stay to haunt you endlessly.
Time, please resume flying to end my torment.
Officially 10 days to reach 31st May 2008, or also known as the end of Torture Month.
But, I'm curious on why does time starts to crawl...out of a sudden. No joke intended, but yes, I feel that time is really crawling and passing me by more slower than usual. Maybe...that's what I have in mind almost all of my life.
Joy are short-lived, they come & go without you noticing.
Sorrow are eternal, they come & stay to haunt you endlessly.
Time, please resume flying to end my torment.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
a l o n e -- p t. 1
15th May 2008, 9.56pm, home.
Alone. I'm all alone at home.
And I feel...
Bliss.
It's been such a long time since I felt such bliss, regardless of the fact that Torture Month isn't over yet.
I'm born a loner. Ever since I was still a small boy, I'm used to the fact that I play alone, I run alone, I go everywhere alone. Actually, I really enjoy this...loneliness so much. In fact, when I see other people with loads of friends (in which you can easily notice from mamak stalls, clubbing areas and church gatherings), I feel nothing. No envy, no jealously, no "what-if-I'm-one-of-them" kind of sh*t. Maybe because I'm raised this way, which I seldom mix around with people. I wouldn't say I'm an anti-social, well, I do have my 'small' circle of friends, but if only you could ever succeed in convincing me that a friend will be always by your side during the worst ever sh*tty situation, no matter how deep sh*t you are in, I might change my perspective on this. Yes, I know (especially girls, no offence), people will say "I'll be by your side no matter what happens" or maybe "You're my best friend ever".
Yeah, yeah, whatever.
I'm the rare type of person who prefer to do everything alone. I love to travel around alone, I love to go watch a movie alone, I love to go sing karaoke at Redbox alone, I love to go have my dinner outside alone. Everything when I'm alone, I feel that nothing is bothering me. I feel free to go wherever I want to, watch whatever movie I want, sing whatever song I love even if it sounds worse than William Hung, or order whatever food I love even if the food is freaking unhealthy. I just feel more like myself when I'm alone. I can say that I'm the total opposite of my elder sister who HAVE (note the caps) to find someone to accompany her to do whatever she's doing minus going to bathe or sleep.
Call me a freak, call me a weirdo, call me an id*ot. This is my life, and I d*mn love it. Moreover, today's one of the rare days where NO ONE is at home, not even my parents who just went for their vacation.
And maybe all these loneliness and negativity brought me up as a much more mature & independent man.
Now, please leave me alone in my own world.
Alone. I'm all alone at home.
And I feel...
Bliss.
It's been such a long time since I felt such bliss, regardless of the fact that Torture Month isn't over yet.
I'm born a loner. Ever since I was still a small boy, I'm used to the fact that I play alone, I run alone, I go everywhere alone. Actually, I really enjoy this...loneliness so much. In fact, when I see other people with loads of friends (in which you can easily notice from mamak stalls, clubbing areas and church gatherings), I feel nothing. No envy, no jealously, no "what-if-I'm-one-of-them" kind of sh*t. Maybe because I'm raised this way, which I seldom mix around with people. I wouldn't say I'm an anti-social, well, I do have my 'small' circle of friends, but if only you could ever succeed in convincing me that a friend will be always by your side during the worst ever sh*tty situation, no matter how deep sh*t you are in, I might change my perspective on this. Yes, I know (especially girls, no offence), people will say "I'll be by your side no matter what happens" or maybe "You're my best friend ever".
Yeah, yeah, whatever.
I'm the rare type of person who prefer to do everything alone. I love to travel around alone, I love to go watch a movie alone, I love to go sing karaoke at Redbox alone, I love to go have my dinner outside alone. Everything when I'm alone, I feel that nothing is bothering me. I feel free to go wherever I want to, watch whatever movie I want, sing whatever song I love even if it sounds worse than William Hung, or order whatever food I love even if the food is freaking unhealthy. I just feel more like myself when I'm alone. I can say that I'm the total opposite of my elder sister who HAVE (note the caps) to find someone to accompany her to do whatever she's doing minus going to bathe or sleep.
Call me a freak, call me a weirdo, call me an id*ot. This is my life, and I d*mn love it. Moreover, today's one of the rare days where NO ONE is at home, not even my parents who just went for their vacation.
And maybe all these loneliness and negativity brought me up as a much more mature & independent man.
Now, please leave me alone in my own world.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
r a g e
As explained in the previous post, this month is officially named as the Torture Month, in conjunction with my last & final working month, flooded with tons of work.
Now...not only I'm experiencing the pressure of loads of work....I'm also experiencing the rage of the new item . No, not the new item which is causing all the rage, but the rage caused by my bl**dy id*ot sister for using my new item. To tell the fact, yes, I admit, I'm a person who can easily experience rage and anger regardless of situation intact. And I have to admit as well, I'm a bl**dy selfish b*st*rd who likes keeping every single item, new or old, big or small, to myself. I hate sharing. Sharing screws my life up, and sometimes I'm fascinated by the fact that I can live with sharing stuffs with my elder sister. This fact may sound scary for friends and people who know me, but I'm living with these attributes since I was born.
D*mnit.
But....
What she did yesterday was really, really unforgivable. Ok, leave the selfish & 'I-hate-sharing' part aside, back to basics. What would you do when you are going to borrow something which belongs to other people? The answer would most probably pop out easily from even the minds of a 6 year old kid who remembers what their kindergarden teacher told them. The answer? "Ask the owner for permission, then borrow the item". Very basic, very simple concept. Yet, my sister, my ELDER sister who already know well bout this very basic concept, didn't apply this concept at all yesterday when she just simply took my new item, bring it out for a round, and thinking of silently bringing back this item without my knowledge, until I called her up and asks about her current location at that time.
In order to lessen the effect of the rage from within, I went to sleep at 9pm yesterday (which is the EARLIEST time I ever go to sleep for almost 10 years), trying hard to forget the bl**dy incident which almost blew my mind off. This morning....woke up at 9am (which means I've slept for 12 hours?!) and began typing this post with the same amount of rage I had before I went to sleep yesterday.
Sometimes, I really don't know how to control my rage.
It's just.....
An uncontrollable desire.
Now...not only I'm experiencing the pressure of loads of work....I'm also experiencing the rage of the new item . No, not the new item which is causing all the rage, but the rage caused by my bl**dy id*ot sister for using my new item. To tell the fact, yes, I admit, I'm a person who can easily experience rage and anger regardless of situation intact. And I have to admit as well, I'm a bl**dy selfish b*st*rd who likes keeping every single item, new or old, big or small, to myself. I hate sharing. Sharing screws my life up, and sometimes I'm fascinated by the fact that I can live with sharing stuffs with my elder sister. This fact may sound scary for friends and people who know me, but I'm living with these attributes since I was born.
D*mnit.
But....
What she did yesterday was really, really unforgivable. Ok, leave the selfish & 'I-hate-sharing' part aside, back to basics. What would you do when you are going to borrow something which belongs to other people? The answer would most probably pop out easily from even the minds of a 6 year old kid who remembers what their kindergarden teacher told them. The answer? "Ask the owner for permission, then borrow the item". Very basic, very simple concept. Yet, my sister, my ELDER sister who already know well bout this very basic concept, didn't apply this concept at all yesterday when she just simply took my new item, bring it out for a round, and thinking of silently bringing back this item without my knowledge, until I called her up and asks about her current location at that time.
In order to lessen the effect of the rage from within, I went to sleep at 9pm yesterday (which is the EARLIEST time I ever go to sleep for almost 10 years), trying hard to forget the bl**dy incident which almost blew my mind off. This morning....woke up at 9am (which means I've slept for 12 hours?!) and began typing this post with the same amount of rage I had before I went to sleep yesterday.
Sometimes, I really don't know how to control my rage.
It's just.....
An uncontrollable desire.
Monday, May 05, 2008
t o r t u r e
*Off-topic : My dear dai kah cher/Pelf have already left for the States for almost a week already. Didn't get to meet up with her before she leave makes me feel so bad. Haihz...and I see you, dear Pelfy. Just remember to pay for our-next-hotel-lunch-buffet, will ya? =P *
At times, I have to admit that I use words which are exaggerating.
Today's post title explains it all.
Torture.
Yes, I'm experiencing it now. Well, not for a long duration actually; it'll most probably last for this month only. And just in case you're wondering, yes, it has something to do with my job...again. Yes, I know that I'm resigning already by end of this month, but somehow I feel that time is really crawling slowly as the 'silent' torture of my job continue to decay myself during this final month of my job.
And that is why....I name this month...
The torture month.
When shall I finally experience freedom?
At times, I have to admit that I use words which are exaggerating.
Today's post title explains it all.
Torture.
Yes, I'm experiencing it now. Well, not for a long duration actually; it'll most probably last for this month only. And just in case you're wondering, yes, it has something to do with my job...again. Yes, I know that I'm resigning already by end of this month, but somehow I feel that time is really crawling slowly as the 'silent' torture of my job continue to decay myself during this final month of my job.
And that is why....I name this month...
The torture month.
When shall I finally experience freedom?
Thursday, May 01, 2008
m a y
Today is 1st May, a public holiday in Malaysia, in conjunction with Labour's Day.
And as expected, I'm at home right now.
Officially, I have another 30 more days to end the days of torture and suffering in my job. In case you're wondering usage of the words 'torture' and 'suffering' is exaggerating, wait till you see my working hours for the past few days.
Monday = 9am - 10.30pm
Tuesday = 9am - 10.50pm
Wednesday = 9am - 11.10pm
Yes, I know, I know. People around me will say, "Hey, what do you expect? You're a fresh grad/young man, you can take all those long hours of work!" But let me tell you this, I'm a normal human like you, regardless of age and gender, I still need to balance out my work, rest and leisure time. This crazy streak of long working hours is definitely out of bounds; one of my bosses's wife just gave birth the last few days, and the one and only colleague in my company just got through his last day of work yesterday. Combine that two situations, and what's left is the extra burden of 2 person's job into 1 person, and coincidentally that 1 person is me. And tell you something, this extra working hours' streak is not forced by my boss or something; my work is definitely too much to handle and I'll just need that extra few hours to finish up all those crap.
Gosh, I can't wait for the 30 days to pass me by.
And I mean it, real bad.
And as expected, I'm at home right now.
Officially, I have another 30 more days to end the days of torture and suffering in my job. In case you're wondering usage of the words 'torture' and 'suffering' is exaggerating, wait till you see my working hours for the past few days.
Monday = 9am - 10.30pm
Tuesday = 9am - 10.50pm
Wednesday = 9am - 11.10pm
Yes, I know, I know. People around me will say, "Hey, what do you expect? You're a fresh grad/young man, you can take all those long hours of work!" But let me tell you this, I'm a normal human like you, regardless of age and gender, I still need to balance out my work, rest and leisure time. This crazy streak of long working hours is definitely out of bounds; one of my bosses's wife just gave birth the last few days, and the one and only colleague in my company just got through his last day of work yesterday. Combine that two situations, and what's left is the extra burden of 2 person's job into 1 person, and coincidentally that 1 person is me. And tell you something, this extra working hours' streak is not forced by my boss or something; my work is definitely too much to handle and I'll just need that extra few hours to finish up all those crap.
Gosh, I can't wait for the 30 days to pass me by.
And I mean it, real bad.
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