j o b___h u n t

Since I got back home after my previous post, I was carrying this heavy emotional 'luggage' around me. It's like a time bomb wrapped around me,waiting for a time to explode and destroy me once and for all. It sure feels 'heavy' carrying this luggage, yet it still lingers around me regardless of how hard I want myself to leave it aside.

This dilemma aside, next one up.


Next one?


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..


...


Yes, there IS another one.


Ever since I graduated last year from my university in Terengganu, I kept telling myself to get a decent job in either PJ or KL. Prefebably PJ as it's much nearer to home. Apparently, I stick to the rule, and landed myself a job in PJ which I REALLY don't enjoy. Yet, it lasted for almost a year before I finally took the plunge to 'fire' my boss and get the h*ll out of the company before I drive myself insane. After that...well, I took a long vacation to several places in Malaysia before finally ending the final vacation with a sad note.


Now...


It's back to reality. And we all know how reality hurts.


And it's really going to be hard, because we humans tend to laze off after going through some really long vacation. This does not worry me much though, as I will still need to work in the end. It's just a matter of time before the lazy effect goes off. And that's not all. My latest job hunt plan received criticism everywhere, from everyone I know. Wondering why is this happening?


Because...


Instead of job hunting in the preferred areas of PJ, KL or even considering the highly prospectful Singapore, I opt to go for job hunting in Ipoh. To friends who know well of the job market in Malaysia, they will definitely hit me with a very simple question, which sounds like 'What the heck are you job hunting in a small town like Ipoh when you are originally from a huge city like KL? You can easily get better jobs over here!'

The 'hidden' answer lies here.

This may sound childish to some, but there is one thing I vowed to fight all the way till the end.

I will prove it to you one day that I'm a capable and good person, although not perfect, but all the way to the best, 'Mrs Chan'.

r e t u r n

It's been a while since I last update my blog due to my trip to Terengganu, as I do not have a laptop which I can bring over here for my daily online dosage. Instead, I'm currently using my junior's laptop, in which I can use moderately and with much consideration.


Anyway...


While I was browsing through my friend's blog on my blogroll, I read about this on Eve's blog. The only response after reading this post is that I feel the exact same thing Eve was feeling at that particular moment. It's like an autobiography; an expression of my own personal feelings all poured out on words. Well, minus the job part and the crucial part of letting go all the memories left behind while she's still in Terengganu.


Though I'm a sadist, but I'm also an 'occasional' emotional person. Only at times like this, such as when I return to a place I love so much, will I suddenly have the emotional surge. Out of nowhere. Sounds creepy, but sometimes I feel scared at myself for this.


It's been almost a year already since I graduated from my university, yet the memories of my university life still overshadow me for the whole duration while I'm in KL, working and struggling with my first, screwed-up job. Everytime when I've thought of something stupid and crazy due to the consequences of work pressure and other similar factors, once I refresh myself of the short-lived happy moments I had in Terengganu, the beaches in Terengganu, the tranquillity and the silence of this wonderful place, everything I had in mind will be solved...for that moment. Somehow, I feel that this is the main reason on why am I always being overshadowed by my love for Terengganu.


I have many friends who kept asking the exact same question, again & again. 'Why do you like Terengganu so much? It's a bl**dy village-like place with no development and no future prospects for a job!' Well, seriously speaking, I myself have run out of saliva to answer this question, again & again, again & again, regardless of whether it's coming out from the mouth of a family member, relative, or a friend. I love Terengganu as this is the only place I can find eternal silence without disturbance, places without noise, motorcycles without traffic jams, patient people without bad manners and most importantly, finding peace within myself.


Once I stepped foot back on Terengganu 2 weeks ago (and I'm still here, right now), I feel bliss. It felt like returning home to a place I'm so close with. Familiar buildings around Kuala Terengganu town is around me while I'm on my way to the KT Bus Station. Faces of locals spread throughout the place I love so much. As I was returning to my junior's place, I noticed a new building; the Terengganu Sports Complex which was build in conjunction with the Malaysian Sports (SUKMA) 2008 event, which previously ended early June. Overall, I feel so happy coming back 'home'.


However...


As I always believe, joy is short-lived; sorrow is eternal. And so is this trip of mine back to Terengganu. After returning here for several days, I felt a significant difference.

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The familiar warmth of this place,
Have faded away as my coursemates and companions are already not here,

The familiar sights of buildings & supermarkets,
Have been overshadowed by newer and nicer ones,

The familiar Mobil petrol station I used to frequent,
Have been closed down due to unknown reasons,

The familiar sound of my motorcycle,
Have faded as it's not here,

The familiar faces I still remember,
Have faded with silence and uncertainty,

And most importantly,

The Terengganu I've loved and cherish,
Is slowly experiencing major changes which I will not like.

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I'll be leaving to Ipoh this Friday, hence the end of my final vacation and the return to reality. As I look back to the days I had in Terengganu for the past 3 years, I began to feel sad and tears began rolling down the cheeks of a man who is not suppose to roll tears at all.

"Now, I am a visitor, not a resident".

Yes, Eve. We are no longer residents of Terengganu.

Guess I'll be leaving this place with a heavy heart.

f . i . r

I'll be leaving to Terengganu later tonight at 10.30pm for the final chapter of my vacation....before I finally return to reality and face torture of the corporate world. Still packing my stuffs now (2 weeks plus of clothes, games, tv series and books!) while listening to some emo music on Winamp.


By the way...


Wondering why does the title of this post sounds so familiar, especially to Chinese songs' listeners?


.

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...


YES! It's F.I.R, the rock band from Taiwan, and they're coming down to Malaysia for their 1st ever concert! I'm a freaking HUGE fan of them, and as expected, I just bought the ticket to their concert. Yes, regardless of my 'running-low' funds, I still fork out some cash to buy an early bird ticket to see them in concert. And I'm going alone, which means no waiting, no 'potong-stim-due-to-watching-with-non-F.I.R-fans', no nonsense, no bugging to go home early, just HIGH, HIGH, and HIGH ALL THE WAY!!!




F.I.R, here I come!!

Gosh, enough of being high, need to continue packing for tonight. Bye, people.

q u e s t i o n s

I just reached back home 12am this morning, after finally settling everything over at my colleague's hometown. Basically I've completed everything I need to do over there, just that his cybercafe still cannot open yet because those TMNet people are taking ages to setup his Internet connection. What's a cybercafe without Internet connection? Haihz...


And you know what?


I didn't charge him a single sen for my consulting services.


Yes, I may sound a little stupid and id*ot for not charging him anything for all those things I've done for his cybercafe. Maybe it's because he is the one providing all the transport, food, & accommodation for me while I'm there. Maybe I feel that I should not charge him because along the process of setting up his cybercafe, I learnt a lot of new things I've never known before this. Maybe I always keep in mind that this is a 'fully sponsored vacation' instead of a consulting service for an ex-colleague. I don't know. I really don't know.


While I sleep at my bed this morning, I kept thinking of this move I've took. Why did I not charge him for my services? Why am I so stupid? My funds are running out real soon already, why am I not just being money-minded, thick-faced for a second and ask him for payment for my services?


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..

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Questions, questions, and more questions.


Now, I already stop thinking about all this. Just stop thinking of charging him anything; it's actually a 2-way beneficial campaign. He gets what he wants for his cybercafe, I get what I want for knowledge (and not money). Somehow, I feel much better and enlightened this way.


Anyway...


I'll be leaving again to the final vacation place before I officially, actively, look for a job to refill my funds, and the final trip will begin this Thursday and most probably will be the longest trip I've taken as compared to the previous ones. As of then, I'll need to chill a lil' for now.


More rest, then packing...again.

c o n s u l t i n g

I returned from my longggg 3rd vacation and a very brief 4th vacation last Saturday, and here I am, back home, getting some much deserved rest & coolling down when suddenly, my ex-colleague who is still working with my ex-company and owns a computer shop back in his hometown (weird, ehh?) , calls me up.

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Colleague : Hey, are you interested to become consultant for my cybercafe? I'm planning to open one at my hometown.

Me : Ermm, ok, should be no problem. So, what should I do? And when do I start work?

Colleague explains the details.

Colleague : So, I'll need you to follow me back to my hometown this Thursday. I'll send you there and back here to PJ next Monday. This trip is fully sponsored, so you don't have to worry to spend even a single cent.

Me : Sounds good. Ok, see you then.

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After putting down the phone, I was slightly devastated. I'm a person who likes going according to plan, and when last minute stuffs like this happen to me, I feel like sh*t. Basically, my initial plans for my whole vacation are partly ruined. Initially, I've planned a 1 1/2 weeks break gap before I go to the 5th & last vacation of mine, which is going back to Terengganu, before I even start looking for a new job (as my funds are pretty empty already). Now that this 'consulting' thing cuts a path in between my break gap, seems like I'll need to reschedule everything.


Back to the 'so-called-freelance-consulting' for my ex-colleague's upcoming cybercafe.


To cut a long story short, well, my ex-colleague, let's address him as W. W plans to open a cybercafe just next to his computer shop at his hometown. As we all know so much, most cybercafe will be as good as dead if there were no online games or stuffs like that in it. Too bad W is not a gamer himself; he's more like some crazy-@$$ workaholic. Which is why he came to me for help in consulting him about setting up stuffs related to online games. Basically this is the case.


One more thing.


Do you know I'm SO stupid that I didn't ask him anything about charging him for my 'consulting'? I mean, usually consultants charge a specific fee whenever their services are needed, and maybe I'm stoned or blur at that time when I spoke with W, but I didn't mention about the fees or stuffs like that. Most probably because I just woke up at that time & my mind isn't that alert yet. Moreover after listening to him saying that he'll fully sponsor the trip to his hometown to get the games' setup done, maybe I'm merely overjoyed at this until I forgot to ask him one very simple question.


How much are you paying me to do all this?


This question definitely sound materialistic & money-minded, but d*mnit, I will need some extra cash to fill up my 'already-running-low' funds, right? Tell me, if you were me, how much do you think I should charge him for my service? Moreover, I'm not a professional consultant, just a freelance, and I've never did anything at his side yet, that's why I don't really want to overcharge him or something like that.

Enough for now. Need to get packing already as he'll be coming over to fetch me to his hometown later in the evening. More updates later.


Off-topic : Pelfy, I've bought some souvenirs in the form of yummy FOOD for you. If interested, hmm...gimme a call after I'm back next Monday. Heh...and I miss you so much, dai kah cher!!!