15th May 2008, 9.56pm, home.
Alone. I'm all alone at home.
And I feel...
Bliss.
It's been such a long time since I felt such bliss, regardless of the fact that Torture Month isn't over yet.
I'm born a loner. Ever since I was still a small boy, I'm used to the fact that I play alone, I run alone, I go everywhere alone. Actually, I really enjoy this...loneliness so much. In fact, when I see other people with loads of friends (in which you can easily notice from mamak stalls, clubbing areas and church gatherings), I feel nothing. No envy, no jealously, no "what-if-I'm-one-of-them" kind of sh*t. Maybe because I'm raised this way, which I seldom mix around with people. I wouldn't say I'm an anti-social, well, I do have my 'small' circle of friends, but if only you could ever succeed in convincing me that a friend will be always by your side during the worst ever sh*tty situation, no matter how deep sh*t you are in, I might change my perspective on this. Yes, I know (especially girls, no offence), people will say "I'll be by your side no matter what happens" or maybe "You're my best friend ever".
Yeah, yeah, whatever.
I'm the rare type of person who prefer to do everything alone. I love to travel around alone, I love to go watch a movie alone, I love to go sing karaoke at Redbox alone, I love to go have my dinner outside alone. Everything when I'm alone, I feel that nothing is bothering me. I feel free to go wherever I want to, watch whatever movie I want, sing whatever song I love even if it sounds worse than William Hung, or order whatever food I love even if the food is freaking unhealthy. I just feel more like myself when I'm alone. I can say that I'm the total opposite of my elder sister who HAVE (note the caps) to find someone to accompany her to do whatever she's doing minus going to bathe or sleep.
Call me a freak, call me a weirdo, call me an id*ot. This is my life, and I d*mn love it. Moreover, today's one of the rare days where NO ONE is at home, not even my parents who just went for their vacation.
And maybe all these loneliness and negativity brought me up as a much more mature & independent man.
Now, please leave me alone in my own world.
Alone. I'm all alone at home.
And I feel...
Bliss.
It's been such a long time since I felt such bliss, regardless of the fact that Torture Month isn't over yet.
I'm born a loner. Ever since I was still a small boy, I'm used to the fact that I play alone, I run alone, I go everywhere alone. Actually, I really enjoy this...loneliness so much. In fact, when I see other people with loads of friends (in which you can easily notice from mamak stalls, clubbing areas and church gatherings), I feel nothing. No envy, no jealously, no "what-if-I'm-one-of-them" kind of sh*t. Maybe because I'm raised this way, which I seldom mix around with people. I wouldn't say I'm an anti-social, well, I do have my 'small' circle of friends, but if only you could ever succeed in convincing me that a friend will be always by your side during the worst ever sh*tty situation, no matter how deep sh*t you are in, I might change my perspective on this. Yes, I know (especially girls, no offence), people will say "I'll be by your side no matter what happens" or maybe "You're my best friend ever".
Yeah, yeah, whatever.
I'm the rare type of person who prefer to do everything alone. I love to travel around alone, I love to go watch a movie alone, I love to go sing karaoke at Redbox alone, I love to go have my dinner outside alone. Everything when I'm alone, I feel that nothing is bothering me. I feel free to go wherever I want to, watch whatever movie I want, sing whatever song I love even if it sounds worse than William Hung, or order whatever food I love even if the food is freaking unhealthy. I just feel more like myself when I'm alone. I can say that I'm the total opposite of my elder sister who HAVE (note the caps) to find someone to accompany her to do whatever she's doing minus going to bathe or sleep.
Call me a freak, call me a weirdo, call me an id*ot. This is my life, and I d*mn love it. Moreover, today's one of the rare days where NO ONE is at home, not even my parents who just went for their vacation.
And maybe all these loneliness and negativity brought me up as a much more mature & independent man.
Now, please leave me alone in my own world.
No comments:
Post a Comment