Down.
So down.
After returning to PJ 2 weeks' back, I'm on a constant mood swing. Swinging like the unpredictable wind. Sometimes I'm good, sometimes I feel like sh*t. And trust me, most of the time, I feel like sh*t. I'm not really sure what is triggering all these emotional rundown in me, but I feel it has something to do with the job seeking process.
Yes, the job topic returns again.
I've been to several job interviews' since I came back here, some are job interview invites, some are responses to my job application online. Sad to say, not much news are heard from them ever since. Maybe they're slow in processing or simply I've failed in the interviews'. Nevertheless, I feel this 'waiting' process is dragging my self-confidence & motivation all the way down the drain. Which kind of explains the sh*tty mood swing mentioned previously.
In fact, not getting a job so quickly isn't any major thing & doesn't deserve to be highlighted so heavily. What's more, if I'm still the old 'me', I'll feel like I'm on top of the world and freedom is dancing all around me. But I'm not sure why am I feeling this...this strange feeling. This feeling, this 'fear' that I will never get a job. The feeling that I will fail in all my interviews' & end up sitting at home for the rest of my life. The feeling that I'm a sh*tty person and everything's over for me. The feeling that I'm such a loser.
Gosh, I'm so emotional. Didn't know that the change caused such a great impact on my life.
I need time to sober up before I end up scr*wing all my upcoming job interviews' due to all these mood swing.
Sorrow is upon me...again.
2 comments:
It's the uncertainty that is creating your mood swing. Slowly but surely, you'll get a job.
Err.. want to consider working as a Journalist? LOL (=
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