Saturday, January 23, 2010

r e s o l u t i o n


Resolution.


I guess this word is no stranger to everyone. And I'm pretty sure most people have already done their resolutions, even before the year 2009 ends.


For me, it only starts now.


Better late than never, no ?


Going off-topic a little, it's been a while since I last posted something here in this tiny, dark corner of my life. The fact is.....reality have been binding me with several kinds of suffering. Ohh yes, you read that right. Suffering. I guess not many people will understand the pain I've been through. For the past 2 months since end of last year, I've been through a series of torture and suffering in the form of physical, emotional, career-wise and financial. Which kind of explain the late update on my blog. Another issue is....I guess I'm beginning to become lazy updating this part of my online presence. Actually I do have many things up in my head which I wanted to just blurt it all out on this personal space, but . . . . it just stops there. Right there.


And now...a simple resolution summary of what's been through for me along 2009 and this current 2010.


Career ?

- Not too good. Worked all the way up to my birthday month before tendering my resignation, and landed myself with another job with a totally fresh job scope. Fantastic aspect in terms of learning, but as of today, I felt myself being more like a mere puppet than a determined new employee.


Relationship ?

- Another failure. Relationship between me & my long distance girlfriend, L, started to develop cracks here and there since the year started off. Distance began to form between both of us, and ultimately, she initiated a break-up on December. Sad thing it is, especially for a relationship which lasted almost 3 1/2 years, but sometimes reality just hit you straight at your face before you even realize it and pray to God for mercy. And right now, I'm officially a single guy with a strong determination to concentrate on my career and financial path. Enough with relationships, I'm not going to look for love . . . . ever. I will have to understand that we are living in a cruel world filled with deceit, vengeance and insincerity. Ohhh "myself", I'll be with you forever. I will always have "you" as my best companion. For L, I still keep in touch with her as a friend, because I always believe that although we are not fated to be lovers, we can still be friends. And although I still have feelings for her, I guess this will have to be kept to myself, as I really do hope that she'll finally find her dream guy in the end.


All the best, L. I still love you.


Financial ?

- 3rd failure in a row. Condition worsen with successful applications for 2 new credit cards, which means additional channels for me to spend. Despite having a slight salary increase after the job change, it didn't really assist much in securing a better stability for this aspect. Guess it's time for me to do a really detailed overview on my financial status or else I'll be left with no money when I retire.


In short, it's all failure, failure, & failure. Which is why I really dread to do resolution once the time comes. Still, it is some sort of measurement to tell myself of what I've achieved along the way. Seeing from this, I'm not going anywhere.


Screw this, I'll be living this life till my last breath. And I will not bother to stress my head too much on planning this, and that . . . . because life is short.


I'll be back.