Thursday, May 26, 2011

r e l a x


Silence.


Total silence at home.


Ahhhhh.


It's really been sometime since this feeling, this tranquil feeling of peace and quietness fall upon me. Total silence in the comfort of my own home.


As the rest of the family left for vacation and left me alone at home, I felt peaceful. Calm. Tranquil. And out of a sudden, all the unhappiness, sorrow, work related nonsense, crappy issues and all - disappear. Disappear, just like that. Well, just only for a brief moment, that is. But still, it's worth mentioning (although I clearly know that I kind of abandoned this quiet, little dark corner of my blog for sometime already).


In fact, the feeling of returning to a place I can really, really, really, really sit down, relax, turn off all electronic equipments I possess, disconnect myself from the outside hectic world filled with selfish bastards and irritating bitches, read a book I really and wanted to read since my last trip, and yes, still the same old word.


RELAX.


Truly relax, that is.


In order for me to reach this level of tranquility, there's no other place than the place I miss (and always), miss, and miss so much.


~~~~


Everytime when I hold my car's steering wheel, before I start my car to face the ugly, selfish, idiotic driving world of KL-lites.

Everytime when I hold the handles' of my motorbike, before I strive and fight my way through dangerous and hazardous dangers ahead with speedy drivers and deep potholes, in order to reach my destination in the shortest time.

Everytime when I'm stressed out at work, struggling and gaining self-pity in the process, wondering why do I deserve such punishment and unfair share of heavy workload as compared to other colleagues.

Everytime when I reach home, only to continue suffering from noise pollution and endless blabbering from my mom, boring speeches from my dad, and childish rants from my elder sister.

Everytime when I needed to get more rest, more sleep, more time to think and start planning ahead on what am I supposed to do, and where am I actually heading to.

Everytime when my faith towards our Creator drops below the negative level, since I didn't believe in any religion, I needed to regain my self-faith and trust towards my inner self.

Everytime when I yearn of soothing weather, friendly people, selfless and simple village folks who will never think of taking your advantage and greet your presence with a simple smile.

Everytime when I long to hear the sound of crashing sea waves, voices of laughter deep from the heart, sound of the motorboat's engine running, and getting my bare feet wet with salt water.

Everytime when I feel that I'm getting angry too quickly, I'm getting stressed out too easily, I'm getting tired too often, and most importantly, I'm getting further and further away from the real me.


.

..

....

I will think of you.


My dear Terengganu.


Time to start planning for my solo Terengganu trip this year.


I've yearn for this every year.



Monday, May 23, 2011

d e m o t i v a t e d


Right now, I'm severely demotivated.

Restless.

Unwell.

Sad.

Down.

Sick of everything around me.

And I really, really need to return to Terengganu. 

Alone.

Back to the place I once found tranquility.

Always.

When shall the time comes ?