t r u t h

Slight deviation...


Sorry for the long absence. Was tied up with tons of never-ending work for the past few weeks (& still going on now). It's just that I left office early today due to an unexpected event. Read on...


End of deviation.

Most people that I know, told me to be good & nice to my boss so that life will be much easier in the office.

Some of my colleagues told me that my supervisor is a nice person, and I should appreciate her more.


However....


Today's events really opened my eyes to both my supervisor (let's just address her by 'A') & boss (let's just address him by 'B') 's true colors & personality.


.

..

....


As I was working today with Monday blues' still hanging around my head, I received an email from my team member (let's just address her by 'J'). That mail is NO ordinary mail. It's a farewell email, telling me that she have already tendered her resignation letter to my supervisor & Human Resource Department today.


Ok....that's a start to blow off my Monday blues.


Shocked, I read on the email that J sent me. It seems like she had enough of all these never-ending workload, unreasonable working hours, inconsiderate boss, & stuffs like that. (this is like reading my own thought for this job!) As such, she got herself another job nearby her house, and now she's bidding me farewell, byebye, take-care-&-be-good kind of stuff.

WTF ?

At 1st thought, I was thinking, "What the heck is this girl thinking? She joins later than me & now she's already leaving? What an id**t ! She should have at least given me an earlier notice so that I can prepare for all incoming crazy workload from now on!" But come to think of it....I can't blame her for this.

Everyone has their own reason for their actions. And J is not excluded in this scenario. This job is definitely not a perfect, or even near perfect kind of job for an IT person, what's more for an IT graduate like me. Doing repetitive work in an unbelievable short timeline with extreme pressure isn't a good thing for everyone. And I'm pretty sure J had enough of these nonsense, and here I am, reading her farewell email while her mind dozes off to the fancy & free surrounding outside this stressful & heartless corporate world.


As I was thinking so deeply about J's case, time just flew past me & before I notice it, it's already coming to late afternoon and all of a sudden, I got another surprise. This time, it's an SMS from my direct boss, B. It reads :

"Meet me at 17th floor at 4.45pm. From B"


Ok, now what?


Sharp 4.45pm, I went up the place he meant and waited for him. After several minutes, he came to the room, and closed the door. Ok, I could feel he meant business. This has either got something to do with J's resignation earlier this morning or I'm "unlucky" enough to get an early confirmation letter.


Ohh yes, I got the former reason right.


To cut a long story short, overall the "so-called-1-on-1-chat-session-with-your-boss" took a freaking 45 minutes with only me & my boss, B, on the conversation. And his first question to me was the standard nonsense question that all bosses will ask their employees' : "How is your work? Coping up well?" And since I have this thought of changing my job role ever since I feel this job of mine isn't going anywhere, I just blurted out the answer without much thought : "Not really." And from there, all discontent feelings were just blasted out like flowing water. I guess this session is meant to be like this anyway, what's more I feel this session is for me to voice out my opinion so that I won't end up like J or something.

Overall, the 2 main things I'd asked him was :

Q1 - Can I change my job role? My current one s*cks like CRAP. (well, I didn't said the last part, but the 1st part is true)

Q2 - The crazy ridiculous datelines are killing me ! Any way to make it more logical?



And the answers I've got was :

A1 - Yes, but you have to wait until end of the year when I'm done reshuffling our ENTIRE team.

A2 - Can't be helped. It's part of business requirement.



Please, please pardon me for the harsh words which I'll be saying from now on, as I'm simply TOO PISSED OFF with these kind of answers.


I mean, WHAT THE F**K are you saying, B? Wait until you reshuffle the team? Hello, Mr B, can't you see I'm getting sick & pissed off with my current job role? It's a bl**dy h*ll repetitive sh*t job which doesn't require any IT knowledge or an IT graduate to do. I just trap myself in the office, look at the computer screen, does the repetitive & sometimes illogical work again & again EVERY FREAKING DAY & now you ask me to wait until end of this year for a simple job role change internally?


And the second answer. Hey, id**t boss, me & you are humans. We are the same, mere humans. Ok, maybe you're NOT human due to the fact that you work 12 hours a day EVERY DAY & you don't even need to sleep. What you needed are work, a computer & an Internet connection to stay alive. I'm not like you. I mean, not everyone is like you. Everyone here, or should I say, EVERYONE ON EARTH has something you definitely don't have. And it's called LIFE. Let me spell it out for you, L.I.F.E. And the meaning of this word is defined as going out there & enjoy it before you die the next day with your computer & LAN cable by your side. Timeline are dead, abstract objects which determine the lifetime of a software lifecycle. But we humans are living beings, with our own thinking, personality, & most importantly, life. So, WHAT THE F**K is wrong with you & your timeline? Can't you see which is more important, the welfare of your staff or the short & ridiculous timeline of your pathetic projects? To tell you the truth, id**t boss, if you were to continue being like this, I bet all your staff will be gone sooner or later & then you're left with just you & your "possible-to-achieve" project datelines. Now go to H*LL. NOW.


Back to the topic.


After I'm done talking to B, I came out of the room, and there I see J waiting anxiously outside the room. I asked J, "What are you doing here?" She replied, "B told me to see him. A called me just now too." I just simply said "Good luck" and went back to my work place downstairs.


And then...


I just leave the office with my head fuming with anger & discontent.


I really, really don't understand why both A & B think this way. What's wrong with them? Just look at J's resignation and the effect on both myself & J. A simple resignation and look at the fuss that B took to speak to both of us in order to "so-called" get our feedback & indirectly, I suppose, to convince J to stay on. People just don't appreciate your hardwork, sweat & h*ll you've been through to get your job done on time. It has been uncountable times when both me & J struggled so hard to get things done on time & to fulfill the ridiculous impossible timeline set by B. We stayed back so late, we cracked our heads to think of a faster way to get things done, and we try to finish up everything nicely. And look what we got in return? Nothing to learn, nothing goes into the knowledge base of our heads, and all we got are bad health, seeds of discontent, extreme fatigue and now we have to bear with these nonsense & ineffective "feedback session".


And now...here I am, at home, writing away & planting my seeds of discontent upon this dark blog of mine.


Sometimes, I feel you're the only one who truly understand me, darkness blog. Yes, I know you don't response to my every move like my dear darling, L, but you are always by my side, listening & providing me with the platform to just blurt out whatever discontent, anger, rage, confusion, sorrow, & every negative thought that can be in my head. And now that I'm done complaining bout how pathetic & id**t f**ks both A & B can be, I'm off to get a good night's sleep.


Good night, people.


Arghhh, need to take on the work again tomorrow.