A colleague of mine asked me to have breakfast together early this morning, as I happen to arrive at the office around the same time as him. While I was walking towards the stall to meet up my colleague, I saw......
..
....
......
My ex-boss.
And he didn't see me (in case you're wondering) because he was busy chatting with his wife (yes, I recognise that lady) that time. I was crossing this busy street in front of my office, and then I saw him & his wife walking at the opposite side of the road. No time for me to even call him or say hi, as he was quite a distance away.
Well, nothing fancy with bumping my ex-boss by the streets, it is just...this feeling. This small, tiny feeling that struck me directly through myself. The feeling that the past is still not over. No, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to mean that once I see my ex-boss, I will become an idiot & return to work back at my previous company. It's just that all of a sudden, I feel slightly guilty.
Yes, guilty.
If you are a faithful reader of my blog, you will know that the main reason I quit my last job was because it was stressful. And then, after going through hell at the 2nd job, I'm now at my 3rd job, in which I'm barely persevering with all the crazy datelines, workload & stress kicking in a good ol' city job. And why guilty? Because I felt I am sorry for resigning from my 1st job (as the ex-boss that I saw is the boss of the 1st company I've worked with). But I have to also thank him for giving me a chance to see the world from a different perspective. With this, comes all the "What if I stayed in my previous company ?" & a whole load of "What if ..." haunting the rest of my life. No, I don't want to live under this shadow forever.
To make things simplier, I just feel tired. Plain tired of looking around for an ultimate, high paying job with no stress and maximum luxury time. Tired of looking around for easy job. Tired of looking for jobs which I can leave sharp on time. Tired of looking for a great & understanding boss. Tired of feeling restless & guilty after a series of unexpected events.
Enough of thinking for today. Off to sleep, as I'm currently suffering from fever, flu, cough & sore throat, all in one go. Taking MC tomorrow.
When shall my suffering finally end?
..
....
......
My ex-boss.
And he didn't see me (in case you're wondering) because he was busy chatting with his wife (yes, I recognise that lady) that time. I was crossing this busy street in front of my office, and then I saw him & his wife walking at the opposite side of the road. No time for me to even call him or say hi, as he was quite a distance away.
Well, nothing fancy with bumping my ex-boss by the streets, it is just...this feeling. This small, tiny feeling that struck me directly through myself. The feeling that the past is still not over. No, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to mean that once I see my ex-boss, I will become an idiot & return to work back at my previous company. It's just that all of a sudden, I feel slightly guilty.
Yes, guilty.
If you are a faithful reader of my blog, you will know that the main reason I quit my last job was because it was stressful. And then, after going through hell at the 2nd job, I'm now at my 3rd job, in which I'm barely persevering with all the crazy datelines, workload & stress kicking in a good ol' city job. And why guilty? Because I felt I am sorry for resigning from my 1st job (as the ex-boss that I saw is the boss of the 1st company I've worked with). But I have to also thank him for giving me a chance to see the world from a different perspective. With this, comes all the "What if I stayed in my previous company ?" & a whole load of "What if ..." haunting the rest of my life. No, I don't want to live under this shadow forever.
To make things simplier, I just feel tired. Plain tired of looking around for an ultimate, high paying job with no stress and maximum luxury time. Tired of looking around for easy job. Tired of looking for jobs which I can leave sharp on time. Tired of looking for a great & understanding boss. Tired of feeling restless & guilty after a series of unexpected events.
Enough of thinking for today. Off to sleep, as I'm currently suffering from fever, flu, cough & sore throat, all in one go. Taking MC tomorrow.
When shall my suffering finally end?
3 comments:
There is no such thing as "an ultimate, high paying job with no stress and maximum luxury time", my dear. Every job comes with a certain set of responsibilities and stress and deadlines.
They key is to learn how to use these responsibilities, stress and deadlines according to your capabilities, and to your advantages and benefits.
Nobody runs from responsibility, so I'm not going to go there. For example, to deal with stress, you can either try do something social with your colleagues (not necessarily drinking, badminton is also fine) or perhaps yoga or aerobics, or whatever. Just go sweat it out.
As for dealing with deadlines, try keeping a TO DO list with the list of things you need to do in a week. Break those things into smaller chunks like, "pay phone bills online" or "reply so-and-so's email" or whatever, you know. The feeling of crossing each item out is GREAT. Try it!
hello... hapi blogging... have a nice day! just visiting here....
Bro. Jian, must give me a call when you're distressing in Malacca next time, ok?
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