Everytime I look at this image, I can't hold myself but to shed some tears.
What's more, with the fading, serene voice of hers looming across the background right now, playing through my faithful MP3 player. Ohhh, what a mere coincidence !
Yes, I know that crying part might portray me as a weak, useless guy who only knows how to cry when it comes to a level when sh*t happens. But again, this is so unpredictable. Uncontrollable. Unresistant. It's just.....just.....the unleash of sorrow which was kept too long from within.
To cut a long story short, here's what happened :
1) Found out that Sammi Cheng, a popular Cantopop singer from Hong Kong whom I fancy very, very much, is coming to Malaysia for a concert in Genting.
2) Excited, ecstatic, high, for a moment.
3) Went (straight away, on the spot!) to buy a ticket at the ticketing counter, but failed due to tickets not on sale yet at counters.
4) Went to book online at Genting's website, succeeded.
5) Continue to book accommodation at Theme Park Hotel, succeeded.
6) Seek help from a friend to collect the concert ticket at Genting OneHub centre.
7) GOT THE TICKET FINALLY!!
8) Waited impatiently for the time to arrive.
9) Back at work, an offer to work for a huge-scale, overseas project came by.
10) My boss offered me the chance, and needed a confirmed reply in 24 hours.
11) Thought hard, hesitated, twisted, turned, contemplated.
12) Finally decided to let go of the concert, and proceed to accept the job offer to work overseas at Bangladesh.
13) Passed my concert ticket over to my sister, and also changed hotel booking to cater for my sister's checking-in.
14) Flew to Bangladesh.
15) Time passes by, day by day. The sorrow feeling looms deeply.
16) The date of her concert, 19th March 2010, finally arrives today.
17) The initial build-up of sorrow finally unleash itself, together with the gradual sorrow that built up day by day.
And trust me, the unleashing part doesn't look too good on my image. Especially at public.
But again, this is reality.
I am (still) not sure whether I did the right thing by accepting this job offer to work overseas, rather than letting it go, just for the sake to attend Sammi's concert. Despite the short 24 hours notice I got from my boss to decide whether to accept the job offer at that time, I've thought of it so hard that my brain almost blew off, just like that. And with my solitary attitude of not consulting anybody to decide on something which will change my upcoming career path, I finally decided to take up this job offer and sacrifice my concert together with it.
Since then, a question kept haunting me.
Is it worth it?
A simple question, yet an unanswered one.
It's approximately 17 days since I left home to travel to this place, 2580 km away from KL. Nothing, no one familiar here besides work colleagues and several local partners. The feeling of being abandoned and despised, looms above me everytime I start work here. It's as if I'm not appreciated. Not being looked up to. Maybe due to the fact that I'm the person who keeps doing my own job task and don't really interact or social much with the local partners here. Well, what do they expect from me? I'm not some Sales or Marketing guy who is assigned to build and foster up some business relationship with you guys who often speak your local, mother tongue of Bengali ! I'm a Project Management guy, oh please ! And worse still, my Department's Director (which is my direct superior's boss) is also here in Bangladesh, monitoring the whole flow of this project. And what I can say is he's not too happy with me, due to the fact that I'm not the kind of sweet talker or "shoe polisher" (which he fancy very much) person, but in fact, I'm the kind of ordinary guy who works as usual and complete the tasks given to him, not to mention the amount of effort put into work.
Which is why, in the 1st place, I wondered whether I did the right thing or not.
But again, I still remember what I heard somewhere....
Do not regret on your own decision, as it is your own choice.
My own choice, oh yes. I can't possibly blame anyone on this. What's done has been done. And if you could excuse me, I'm off with my dosage of endless Sammi's songs to heal my soul......and deep wound.
Life is too short to work like a cow.
3 comments:
One day, I hope you will look back and thank yourself for giving up the chance to watch Sammi Cheng to go to Bangladesh for a month.
I hope you will talk about the days you've spent in Bangladesh for a long time.
Am very happy you've worked at Bangla! Learn their mother tounge, and try to communicate with me! haha... i've learn some too. =)
Tum kea karahyho?
Are you back? Did you buy any souvenir for me?
Don't feel miserable for not being able to attend the concert. Wanna go for the one in Hong Kong? You sponsor half lah, then I will fine another sponsor (the first commentator here). Muahaha... I hope she doesn't read this here (=
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