A month ago, I shared something interesting here in my blog, regarding the reminiscence of where are we actually heading to; the exact direction which one should follow.
And just yesterday, I was "shot" deep inside my heart when someone at work told me something really, really unpleasant but too bad to be true. No lies, all facts. And this made me rethink about my current direction, in which I'm following all these while. Apparently, only now and exclusively now itself, I hate to say this but somehow it feels like I'm back to square one now. Back to the same old crossroad I've been 3 years ago when I just graduated from my university.
Frankly speaking, to cut a long story short, I'm lost. Again. Now that I'm back to this familiar crossroad, I can't stop myself from re-thinking the path I've taken 3 years ago. Or wait, should I say, the "wrong" path I took after my Form 5/SPM, in which I immediately went up to Form 6/STPM after both my parents' refusal to let me into 'A' Levels. . . which could change my life FOREVER. In other words, this wrong turn should track way back before I even step into this cruel, horrible corporate "dog-eats-cat" world.
Arghhhh.
No use crying over spilled milk.
The whole long winded story could be summarized to a simple flow diagram.
Free training available from Company --> tried to get approval for training from big boss --> big boss refused with tons of excuses and justification --> big boss explains on my overall job performance and main reason why was I sent back from Bangla to Malaysia --> big boss re-stress his point to refuse my application for training --> I became excessively emotional deep inside and that just screwed up my whole day, or should I say, for the next few weeks ?
And yes, apparently there is a reason on why was I sent back from Bangla to Malaysia in the 1st place. In fact, they simply replaced me with another person from my department without telling me this reason..... and I was just kept in the dark all the way, all the way until yesterday. And to receive this kind of humiliation without knowing what's going on or any details whatsoever from anyone, is definitely the highest insult.
My colleague, who was at the scene when my big boss told me off, informed me to go back and think deeply for yourself, whether are you aware of the current direction you're heading to? In other words, it simply means what type of work do you like to do?
Good question.
Deep confusion.
Excessive emotional response.
As I'm currently under direct stress and emotional breakdown, now I'm worried that this negative phenomenon might affect my final decision on where do I actually want to head to, career-wise.
Time to go back and think......real hard.
No comments:
Post a Comment