(This is a delayed post, originally posted on 10:42AM, 12/07/09 Sunday)
As I'm writing this post, I have just reach Marang, Terengganu. The place to get a boat over to Pulau Kapas, which is the island I'll be hanging out for the next 3 days to find peace & tranquility for my torn, exhausted & broken heart.
While I was driving along the way here to Terengganu, I began to feel something familiar. Something I've never, ever, felt back in PJ. It's this....this feeling of returning home to a place I once loved & fancy, especially the exceptional peace, silence & slow paced life of the people here. Although I have to admit that following an uncle who drives 50 km/h for almost 10km is kind of frustrating, but deep within, I can feel that people here are not rushing. Not rushing like what PJ/KL residents feel daily, regardless of whether it's a working weekday or a "supposed-to-be-relaxing" weekend. Not even bothered to think of other materialistic, ugly matters which may rear its head due to the hectic & fast-paced modern lifestyle. It's all just....just so slow, simple & beautiful here. Although the overall outlook & technology advancement is far behind what I've seen back in PJ (you can still see wooden buildings, cows & goats everywhere here!), but what I love most about this place is its surroundings & the fantastic feel whenever I step onto this land of the east coast.
And not forgetting....
This is also the place where IT all started.
The place where me & L began our beautiful, yet "restrictive" relationship.
Reminding myself about this situation makes me wanna cry again. Tears will never fail to roll out of my cheeks whenever I think about this....this tragedy that bestruck me without any notice. Nevertheless, I have to remember, I'm now sitting in a random coffeeshop in Marang, surrounding by strangers, & I will not further humiliate myself by crying in front of public ! Be strong, LYJ, I know you can totally forget about her & do like what dai kah cher told you, move on.
But...
Is it possible to move on?
Is it possible to let myself totally forget someone whom I loved so, so deeply since we started off our relationship 3 years ago? What's more, trying to forget someone you love in the place where we started building this wonderful relationship? The place where most fond & beautiful memories linger. The place where we both finish up our final year projects together. The place where we graduated with our Bachelors' Degree together. The place when I first hold her hands tight. The place I get to hold her close in my arms without much worries of bumping onto her restrictive parents.
And now it's all over in a flash before I even start wondering what or where did I went wrong.
Or is it that something we both missed out?
Arghhh, now is not the time to think about this. I should be concentrating to enjoy this "ultimate" vacation of mine which I've planned since the beginning of this year. I should be taking my own sweet time to enjoy this annual vacation back to Terengganu & not reminding myself of this tragical moment. Not to erase all my sweet & wonderful memories between me & her. What's more, this is suppose to be a HAPPY vacation, not a SORROWFUL one. My dear juniors are graduating from university & I should be happy for them. Gosh, what am I thinking?
My friends, I am really, really unsure whether I can forget about her & move on. Words can be easily expressed out, but it's the action which is difficult to initiate. Many friends told me that time will heal the wound, time will heal the wound....but it's simply too deep for time to heal it. No doubt, time flies, time heals, but will it manage to heal mine?
I doubt so.
Enough for now. Will be uploading this once I get a place to online. Till then, I'll just let emotions overcome me.
Off to the jetty now.
Latest update (06:39PM, 12/07/09) - I've finally found a place to go online....& it's in the island itself! Wireless connection available at the lobby.....ok. What an unexpected place to go online....
The sorrow & despair continues....
No comments:
Post a Comment