g r a t i t u d e . . . . ?

Last Friday, I stayed back after work until 9pm to finish up my outstanding jobs before the weekend. As such, I sacrificed my leisure time by rejecting an offer for a drink that night with an old friend who just came back from Australia & will be leaving back end of this month. Finally, I got the job done & went back home with only me & my boss left in the office by that time.


This week...as I've already done my previous job, I have no more outstanding jobs to be done besides waiting for more jobs to come. My senior, who just came back from her long leave last week, gave me a short briefing about upcoming jobs. Nothing fancy, just that she missed the part that I stayed back late. At the end of the briefing, she told me "You better be ready to stay back late after the upcoming jobs arrive. No more going back early like you usually do, and you might have to come back on Saturday & Sunday to finish up your stuffs".


Errrmm...excuse me? What's with the 'going back early' part?



Ok, frankly speaking, I don't blame her for saying that. I'm not offended. I have to admit, for some days, I do go back early e.g 30mins after the official working hours and going back home that time is considered early as almost the whole office is still filled with people that time (yes, all my colleagues are THAT hardworking). Which is why she said I go back early previously. But I do have my own reason to go back early & it's not for fun.

For me, I always feel that it's equally fair to go back home early after you finish all your outstanding jobs or you have nothing else better to do (which is a really rare case). Instead, if I'm loaded with tons of outstanding & seems-to-be-neverending-line-of-jobs, I rather sacrifice my personal & leisure time to finish it up, no matter what (as per what happened last Friday).

But after receiving that kind of remark from my senior, I feel slightly hurt. Not the deep hurt kind of thing, but I personally feel that all my hardwork, determination to finish up my job asap & time sacrificed to finish them, is not appreciated. No, I don't expect everyone in my office to start a party to celebrate my hardwork or present me with an award for my work. I only request for a little gratitude, is that too much to give? A little, maybe just a simple pat at the back? Or a wide, friendly smile? Why do she have to utter those kind of remark to me?

Arghh...let it be. Leave it to be. I'll continue to work hard, and hopefully one day everyone will notice my determination & enthuasism in work.


'Dreaming' for that day to come. When, I wonder?

w e e k e n d s

DISCLAIMER : This is a totally random post. Kindly ignore if you prefer logical or interesting reads, or you can always refer to my blogroll on the right. Thanks for dropping by.

Weekends.


2 non-working days.


The time I've waited, waited, & waited after 5 days' of work. Yes, I'm exaggerating, but the fact that working for 5 days & having 2 days' off still don't really get into my head....yet. Maybe the fact that my previous jobs always leave me with one single, weeny day off for every week. Guess I got abit 'too' used to '1-day-off-per-week' concept.


If it was the 'old' me, I will be jumping around in joy with the 2 days' off day for weekends. But now, I feel that weekends are merely 2 ordinary days when you don't have to report to work. Time flies, and before you even begin to enjoy your weekend & get your much awaited rest, it's already over and Monday hits you hard on the head with a 'BANG'! And then....Monday blues kicks in, and well, the week passes by real slowly. And I really mean it when I say slow. It's as if time crawls slower than both turtle & snail combined together. Weekends? It's just like Japanese bullet train. 'Whoosh' it goes, and before you even notice, it's over.


I know I might sound selfish in this post. Compared to other people who might have to work on Saturdays (and even Sundays' in the case of Sales Assistants or Helpdesk Support), I'm considered one of the lucky bunch. But I've been a Sales Assistant and Helpdesk Support myself previously, and comparing my previous job scopes' with my current one, I wonder, which is more worth it? Working like crazy until you don't even notice weekend's here, or working like crazy while praying weekend is here faster? Notice the words in bold, and tell me which one you prefer.

For me, I prefer the former, but my current job forces me to be with the latter.


Somebody save me, arghh.

2 0 0 9

Happy New Year 2009, everyone.

You've seen the fireworks, experienced the crowd, feel the heat, counted down the countdown, and partied your heart out during New Year's Eve, every year. For me this year, no countdowns', no parties', no ugly crowds, just a few cans of beer at home is enough for me to bid 2008 goodbye.

One easy question.


What's next?



Yes, a very easy question, yet many find it difficult to answer this question. People began writing down & planning their New Year resolutions' before New Year, hoping that the beginning of this new year sparks off a new start to their lives. But did they really sit down and think hard, will the resolutions' ever work out? What's next on the list for this new year?

For me, I'm lost.


Totally lost.


And I feel the passiveness is taking me on.

Ever since I got back from Ipoh, ever since I noticed the change in myself, I feel that I love being alone, avoiding parties and places' with lots of people. I like places where there are less people, I like places which are peaceful & quiet; places as quiet as a library. I like to be in places where I don't need to think too much about how much I'll need to spend for this & that; instead I just spend with a carefree mood. I like to just turn off my phone for one single day, and spend the day off without hearing the phone ring.


But...


I feel that my wishes are kinda impossible, unless I opt for early retirement to Terengganu or some sort. And thinking of this when you just got yourself a decent job is bad. Real bad.

Currently sitting at home & enjoying the loneliness & silence as everyone went out for their much needed dose of window-shopping-at-shopping-complexes-with-the-crowd.

I guess I'm getting old real fast.


Time, please pass me by.